The Worst Checklist EVER!

As most of you know, we are pursuing the adoption of a child with special needs.  When a family begins this process, you are asked to complete a VERY difficult task.  You need to fill out the "MEDICAL CONDITIONS CHECKLIST."

Oy.  This is a tough list.  It is literally a list of 40+ medical conditions that a child may have.  And we're supposed to go through and choose, "Yes, no, or maybe."  Sounds simple, right.  Ugg.

I spent nearly a week reviewing and researching these conditions.  This week was one of the most depressing, difficult weeks of my life.  Imagine sitting in front of the computer for about 10+ hours per day looking up a medical condition, its worst-case scenario, and how it affects the lives and families of those who live with it.  It's a TOUGH process.

I did come across amazing stories of children who are so brave and are such fighters.  I gained inspiration from families who walked side-by-side with their children as they navigated a life different than they had expected.  Most of all, I gained a confidence that this little family in Colorado can be blessed by a child who has some additional needs.  We completed this list with a lot more "Yes's" and "Maybes" than we had expected.  And with each of those checks, we felt great about them - and even excited!

Please, if you have ANY interest in adoption, please consider special needs adoption.  There are so many children with such a WIDE variety of needs.  Birthmarks are a special need in China.  An extra finger that can be surgically removed?  Special need.  A foot turned in?  Yep - special need.  Beautiful children with Down Syndrome are some of the blessings on this list.  A large number of these kiddos have cleft lip and palate.

I'd love to answer any questions you may have, or, explore this beautiful website, www.nohandsbutours.com.

Frequently Asked Questions

Thanks so much for following us on this journey. I’ve not been very active on this blog, because I’ve been plowing through A LOT of paperwork. We’re about to see that side of things drop off, and I’m getting a chance to add another entry to this journal. Throughout the past few months, we’ve spoken with many of you, and have encountered a lot of questions – which is awesome! Adoption is not a common process, and each program (country) is different from the next. Here are some of the questions we’ve encountered and the answers to them – in no particular order:

1. Will your daughter’s name be Mei-Mei?

No – we actually haven’t decided on her name yet. Mei mei is the Chinese term for “little sister,” so that is what we are calling her as we discuss our future with Will and Grace. FYI – big brother is ge ge (pronounced gu-gu) and big sister is jie jie (pronounced GiGi – Grace’s nickname).

2. Why China?

Another great question. There are so many children around the world in need of families, and many here in our own country. Through our research, we found that US adoption was not for us at this point in our life. The adoption of a younger child in the US is an uncertain process as you do not know how long the child will be placed in your care and if it will ever become permanent. I’m happy that we try to keep birth families together, but the fact is that Will and Grace are far too young to understand if a child were to be taken from our home after being with us for awhile. We just can’t put them through that.

So, onto other foreign countries. We researched most of them and just decided that China was the right program for us. We weighed cost of adoption, stability of the program, length of stay, and the number of times required to travel to the country. In the end, we found China was right for us.

Now, as time has passed since the initial decision, it’s easy to see that the real answer to “Why China” is simply this: CHINA IS WHERE OUR DAUGHTER IS.

3. Why Special Needs? Do you choose what Special Needs you’ll accept?

We were told about the special needs program after realizing that the current wait for China’s traditional program now is well over 5 years. Friends told us stories of adopted children with an out-turned foot or other minor ailments – all part of the special needs program. Still nervous about this route, we started our research and found children with large birthmarks were considered special needs in China. For those of you who know Will and have seen his leg, you know large, bleeding birthmarks are not new territory for us. So, we dug further and realized that our little family is equipped to handle a lot of other needs as well. Perhaps one day, I’ll write a post about the many special needs we are open to and the process through which we made those decisions. In the meantime, feel free to ask us about any questions you may have about it.

4.Will you get a girl?

Probably. Although, in China’s Waiting Child Program, there are FAR more boys available than girls – opposite of what we assumed. For our family, we feel a little girl will fit in easier and she and Grace will be close in age and able to share a room.

We are VERY happy to answer any questions you may have along the way. Although adoption is a lot of work, we’re also learning how totally do-able it is as well, and would love to share.