Important: this was written before we saw Elyse's face.
Adoption is scary.
Let me say that again. Adoption
is SCARY! We have come up against a
number of obstacles that are unique to adoption – some we knew about and others
that took us by surprise. The process
(paperwork) was a mountain we knew we’d have to scale. And then - there was the stranger that came
into our home, toured it, and then for 2 weeks straight asked us very personal
questions, all in the name of a home study.
Then, there was reaction from friends and family who did not understand
why we chose to take this road. And, of
course, that amazing long list of medical conditions that we had to research
and decide which we could provide for. These and many more challenges have been on our
path. However, one of the most daunting
and scary parts is the finances.
Yep – I said it.
Money is scary when it comes to adoption. According to our agency, bringing home our
daughter will cost $23,000 - $26,000.
It’s a lot of money. International
adoption in some countries cost much more, and there are a few where the final
cost is less. Oh, and I must be
clear when talking adoption and money, at no time are we “buying” our
child. We are paying for NUMEROUS
government fees, both Chinese and American, travel costs, and an orphanage
donation that helps cover the expense of caring for our daughter. Anyhow, it is a lot of money, but we knew
from the beginning, money was only a small part of this journey.
We were able to cover the first couple of fees just fine, then –
things started moving quickly. Fees and
deposits were coming due and we knew it was time we had to figure out where
this money was coming from. We have
plans to eventually apply for grants, but most required completed home studies
and dossiers, neither of which we had. So,
we set out to apply for a sizable loan from a Christian Credit Union that
provides adoption loans. This is a great
option because they’re able to do it at a lower interest rate, a number that would normally
only be available for a secured loan. So, we took the plunge, knowing we’d pay a
lot of it off by next Spring, with assistance that FedEx will give us after the
adoption is complete and the government tax refund. We could do this. Then, right before signing the loan papers,
we realized that the tax assistance was now a credit and not a refund as it has
been the past few years. It gives us a
credit towards the income taxes we pay – not the Medicare or FICA taxes, just
income taxes. UGH. So, I researched and learned that we will see
small bits of this “credit” over the next few years, but will NEVER reap the
benefit of the full amount.
So, panic set in. Oh
my heavens – this is a lot of money we’re going to have to pay back over the
next few years. How in the world are we
going to make this happen? We had JUST
become comfortable with our current budget (which isn't too big to begin with), but now we’re adding a large loan
payment as well as another child.
And let me be clear – at no time during this did we think of
not adopting. We had a moment of, “maybe
we should wait a bit,” but that was immediately set aside as we just KNEW this
was the right step at the right time.
So, all this panic sets in on Friday evening. We work to talk each other through the
stresses on Saturday. (Ben and I are
pretty good at taking turns talking each other off the proverbial ledge.) We keep things in perspective and “know” it
will all be worth it in the end, but are still freaking out about the financial
implications.
Sunday morning arrives and as usual, we go to church. Well, during worship time, I begin fervently
praying to God for an answer to these struggles, just one answer that will give us
peace in this process. Please just
something to let us know – reassure us – that we are in fact following your
will and that we are moving in the right direction. And you know what – I didn’t receive an
answer. I RECEIVED FOUR ANSWERS! Yep, four! Here's what became abundantly clear during that 15 minutes of worship:
- Things that are worth doing are not always easy, but you can do this. I’m asking you to attend to one of “the least of these” while sacrificing some financial comforts – which will bring blessings as well.
- This loan is for less than most car loans. As Americans, we think nothing of the investment of a loan to buy a car. What about this investment into a child’s life???
- This adventure, journey and ultimate blessing of a daughter will glorify Him to all those around us who are not followers or who are struggling in faith. A new friend of mine put it well when describing her calling in an email, “I know this is what I was created to do and I am so stoked to see Him glorified through it.” (Don't you just love someone who can use the words "stoked" and "glorified" in the same sentence?)
- Adoption will become more “normal” as more children are adopted. More parents will see it as a viable way to add to their family.
Wow – these answers literally washed over me. I was overwhelmed and the tears began flowing. At that moment, there was a peace in my soul that I hadn’t experienced for quite awhile. I was overcome with joy, peace and the undeniable love of a Heavenly Father who has such amazing plans for my family’s lives. Through tears, I shared these answers with Ben at the end of service, and since then, we’ve walked forward in this journey with so much more peace in our hearts.
Matthew 11:28-30 ESV
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is
light.
Good Post Katie...We have had many of the same thoughts and issues, but decided it's now or forever putting it off to wait for the "Right" moment!
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